"3 Days and a Stupor"

Even though it rained all day Friday, it was still a much more productive day for me than Saturday. I ran errands most of the day and spent a near fortune on groceries. I normally keep my pantry stocked just enough to get me through the next week but this week I went on a buying frenzy as if I were stocking up for an impending disaster. And maybe I am. It is a very charged political season this year and who knows what may happen after 11/02. I also added two DVDs to my collection: Angels in America and Strange Days. I had never seen the former either on stage or in its HBO production but after seeing all the awards it has gathered over the years and recently at the Emmys, I decided I should check it out. I balled throughout. I laughed a little. But, I mostly got fired up (all over again) about the disgraceful way that Reagan handled the early years of the AIDS epidemic. I've seen the latter film, Strange Days, many times and think it is one of the most imaginative movies ever made. If you haven't seen it, see it. Notice, I'm giving nothing away today.

Friday night, after baking a pan of chocolate brownies, I settled down to watch the second presidential debate. I had the remainder of one of those 1.5 litres of red wine to finish off and to add emotional support, or at least to numb my disgust to all the crap soon to be issuing from George's oral orifice. However, by the end of the debate, which I thought our man Kerry did brilliantly, I also felt quite drunk (5 glasses worth) and a bit full from gorging on all the brownies but one. I awoke latter in the night, around 1am-ish to the beginnings of a nasty hang-over. My nasty hang-over hung over me throughout all of Saturday effectively ruining any chance of accomplishing anything productive that day, such as working on my upcoming Nobel worthy book of thought provoking poetry. Instead, I veged out and watched all of Angels in America and became very emotional. I also continued to gorge on much of the food I'd bought to last me through the impending disaster and now may need to go back to the store sooner rather than later.

Thankfully, as Sunday rolled around, I was able to rally my resources and do some miraculous things. I began the day my working out. Well, I figured with all those folks running in the marathon, I could muster up the energy to lift a few weights for the betterment of my intoxicated muscles. Both they and I felt better afterwards and it sprang us on to our next endeavor which was the assembling of my first ever lasagne. Following my mother's sage advice on lasagne making, I assembled this icon of middle-class American family dinner entrees in the morning to allow the ingredients to marinate and soften the noodles. No precooking of the pasta required. I would return to it later in the evening to bake for about an hour and remember it's suppose to last for many days, no gorging required. In the middle of the day, I met my friend Michelle at Sweet Mandy B's for a cupcake and coffee break. Ever been there? It reminded me of the bakery I recently visited in NYC called Magnolia Bakery. It's one of those places where they make old fashioned baked goods from scratch using full fat products like real butter, cream, and copious amounts of sugar. Mmmmmmm! Then, in the late afternoon, I did work on my Nobel worthy manuscript of thought provoking poetry and really liked how it was shaping up. I'm sure to be recognized soon. Look for me! And the lasagne was/is delicious.

"Highlights of my recent trip to NYC"

I got my pics back yesterday from my trip to NYC last weekend. Oh man, I miss it all over again. I think I've been bit by the Big Apple bug. I could definitely live in that city, if only I could afford the rent! Ah well, enjoy the photos and the memories. Of course, when I hit the big time and have more money than I know what to do with, then I'll have a place in NY as well as LA and somewhere in Europe too.

"The Only Logical Response to Conservatism"

Over the weekend I decided it was time to catch up on some missed films that have come out lately. I saw two, A Dirty Shame and The Forgotten. John Waters, of course, takes the cake as he would in any situation. His film is a rip roaring laugh a minute sex charged response to the overly suppressively constrictingly conservatism that is drowning our nation under the current political climate. If you haven't seen it and your not a republican, then by all means go. However, you want to remember to think about Water's film in the context of the era we are living in. On the surface it may seem like an over the top sex romp without any substance. But when you look a little deeper at the way conservatives and liberals are represented you begin to see the politics underlying the surface story. I believe Water's is responding to the conservative hysteria is recent years including such issues as the dissolution of human rights, the backlash on the homosexual community, and the warmongering against oppressed people. I think the most telling moment out of the film wasn't any of the visuals or sexual stunts but the slogan of the nueters group. "No more tolerance." In Water's films, it's an unreality that we can all laugh at but under the present administration it's all too real. If we don't make our stand against it this November, the next four years may be the death of the entire liberal party. Maybe that sounds extreme. Perhaps we would simply see the second civil war in America?

I also saw The Forgotten. Here's another film that is getting some press, mostly dismal. Admittedly, the film is held together predominantly by unusual special effects and some shocking moments. There was one scene where our heroine Julianne Moore (Telly) and her co-star Dominic West (Ash) are fleeing the feds in a Ash's car. The perspective (for this scene) shows the driver, Ash, in the foreground and Telly in the background. Outside her window you can see the headlights of a car that seems to be coming toward theirs at a leisurely rate of speed. Then, suddenly, they are smashed in the side and the airbags blow. It all happens so fast. I swear it was just like my accident I was in last Christmas. Very surreal moment for me. Anyway, what's interesting about this film is the premise that someone (some thing) could erase not only your memory but also everyone around you so that you effectively would forget a lost loved one. Once again, I see this film as an extreme response to the times. When we all saw Fahrenheit 9/11 (we all saw it, right?) and learned, or had it confirmed, that the Bush, his family, and his administration have been in bed with "the enemy" all along and then in this film we find out that the government is also passively working with the "enemy" (trying not to give anything away) suppossedly for the good of all. It's all so annoying what people will do for power and money.

I also baked a cake this weekend without any thought to politics in its making. Actually, I was thinking about my recent birthday and the fact that I never celebrate the occasion with cake anymore. So I made a buckwheat banana bundt cake. It turned out great! Although, I have found that if you are as frustrated by politics these days as I am and you are not currently a filmmaker, then try baking a cake from scratch. It's good old-fashioned fun, a little work, and the results are yummy! It's my response to ultra- conservatism.

"A New York State of Mind"

Isn't it funny how all your troubles seem to get suspended when you get the hell out of Dodge, even if only for a few days. I didn't realize it, or really think about it until today, but after spending a long weekend in NYC I realized that the way I perceive the world at home is different than the way I did in NY. Of course, it doesn't help that everything that could be wrong is wrong for me in Chicago. The onset of fall, which seems to have waited for my return to begin its slow encapsulation of the environment as everything slowly dies. Or is it that my car which I raced to pick up at the shop (Runge's Auto) yesterday after getting off the plane, has a new problem with it. Could it be that I'm losing a day of work and the only reason I care is because I won't be paid for it? Why are all the bad things in a life associated with "home?"

When I left for NY last Friday, I was apprehensive. I hadn't flown in a number of years, long before 9/11. I had always had an irrational fear of flying. However, both legs of my flight were realitively uneventful and the check-in proceedures at both airports didn't take very long. Actually, I love American Airlines self-service check-in machines for people with e-tickets. I was dreading the wait in line to get a boarding pass but all I had to do was press a few buttons on a touch screen. It was like using the ATM.

I decided this time in NYC, I was going to be as native as possible meaning I wanted to use the MTA to get around town, and I wasn't going to see any Broadway shows. We have all the same ones (or most) here in Chicago and I don't want to see them here either. I think I can safely state that the MTA system in NYC is very easy to use but also way more complicated than it probably needs to be. For instance, the subways are not only color coded but also lettered and numbered. There's the 1-9, the A-Z, and the red, blue, green, purple, yellow, green, and orange lines. Thankfully, these are not all separate lines that would be insane. But why does the 1,2,3,9 trains all have to be red as well? Why are the N,R,Q,W all yellow? And why were the eastside trains like riding the monorail at Disney, while the westside trains were, well, dirty old trains? I can see the why of some of it, like, for instance, the eastside trains are well kept because they service the crusty upper eastside. It's like in Chicago where the purple line train that goes into the northshore is the nicest and least used line. But the most used line, the red line, is crappy and the same was true in NYC. Although, overall, the entire system made the Chicago CTA seem antiquated. It ran a lot more smoothly and on schedule with a lot more options for getting from A-B. Also, the trains themselves were much larger. Even on a rush hour train, I was never smashed up against the doors trying to get a space. When I returned to Chicago and had to take the CTA all the way downtown so I could turn back uptown, I already missed the MTA.

My first afternoon there, after checking in to my swank upper westside hotel, I walked across to the eastside to the Metropolitan Museum of Art. I spent most of my time in the modern art wing but the most beautiful view I had there was actually from the roof where I saw all of Central Park's treetops spread out around me. Is there another city in the world with a view like that?

And Central park itself was amazing. When you're deep in it, it's as if the city were a million miles away. I went jogging twice over the weekend in the park. There are numerous ways one can go to jog, ride, skate, or whatever. There are also tons of places to lounge, have a picnic, or ride horses. There was a small zoo, and a lagoon where you can rent radio controlled sailboats. The public art work in the park is incredible. Somewhere, deep in its environs, I saw a bronze sculpture of Alice in Wonderland.

Now, before I left I had done a ton of research on the net for restaurants. The first night, I took three trains to get to one of these finds on the lower eastside. It was fun and the place was great but NYC is covered in restaurants, many of which are great. I quickly discovered that on any night, you can go to places without reservations and not spend a fortune but still have a great experience. Every place I went to seemed to take great pride in presentation. The food looked great as well as tasted great. I ate at Les Enfants Terribles (LES), Miracle (Greenwich), Baluchi's (UWS), and The Townhouse (UES). I should mention that my budget was not huge and I spent less than 200 bucks on food all weekend. I've spent that much alone here in Chicago at one time! I think the contrast isn't what one would expect.

I spent Saturday traversing the city from one end to the other. I did do some touristy things like walking across the Brooklyn Bridge and going to see the Statue of Liberty. I had the most amazing cupcake, on recommendation, at Magnolia Bakery in the Village. And I went to see a slew of interesting writers at the KGB Bar in the same area on two different nights.

Sunday was my birthday and I spent, almost, the whole day boozing it up at my cousin's expense. He offered. He and his partner took me to the one place I went to on the UES to eat. It's called the Townhouse and caters to a predominantly older gay crowd. I met another poet who works at Rutger's and hates it. He was in a bit of a rut that day but he gave me the Clash cd London Calling on the spur.

I can't say enough good things about my experience. I meant to go into more detail in this post but I have my broken down car on my mind, this missed day of work, and the coming winter. I think I could live in NYC just not in the summer (too hot) or the winter (too cold). How could I manage that?

"A Hollywood Weekend"

I didn't plan it this way but I realized as I slid into the Monday morning blues that I had had a Hollywood weekend. I should preface this with the understanding that a Hollywood weekend is not necessarily all glamour, though that would be just fine. No, my Hollywood weekend was more in the subtle nature of things, I mean, that's where the glamour was to be found. Also, I began the weekend looking one way and came out of it changed.

So, rewind back to Friday afternoon. I went for my 6-month haircut. Oh yeah, I don't believe in "maintaining" my hair through constant trimmings every couple of weeks. Who has time and money for that? Evidently, some folks do just not this folk. Anyway, I spent the usual amount of time driving around the Clark & Diversey area looking for parking. What a mess of one-way streets, permit parking, and construction zones that area has become. Eventually, I snagged a place on that little one-way street right behind the Century. Freeloaders can only park on one side of the street without being ticketed. It's really just a matter of chance and a little good luck. After securing Dalloway (my literary Volvo), I zipped around the corner to Gabby's. I love this Barber Shop! They have both men and women barbers and can do any style that any of the salons can do just minus all the fuss. Normally, when one arrives there on any day at almost any hour, there is a bit of a wait. You write your name on a chalk board and wait to be called, while perusing various fashion mags. However, on this Hollywood day, I walked in the door and was pleasantly greeted by one of the cooler barbers there who whisked me right into her chair as if I was expected at that moment. I told her I wasn't used to such treatment but she said "You deserve this and more." Okay, not really. She actually said "You came in at the right time. I just finished up someone and no one is waiting." So it was a timing thing but that is an important Hollywood skill as well and fit into my weekend.

Now, I must tell you, this woman was fantastic. I can't believe I didn't get her name! My bad. She asked me how I wanted it, made some clarifications, then off she went clipping and cutting. Here's the thing. Her touch was so gentle that I barely felt a thing except for this warm presence and slight hum from the clippers just over my shoulder. We got to talking about tattoos. Evidently, we both have a few and have gotten some of them at the same place over on Belmont at the
Chicago Tattoo Co. Small world. She told me she has even gotten a mother/daughter tattoo with both of her daughters. Why-oh-why couldn't my mother have been that cool? Well, when it was all said and done my do looked fantastic. Normally when I go to Gabby's, I just go with whoever is available but for now on I'm waiting for her.

The rest of Friday was uneventful errands.

On Saturday, I decided it was probably going to be the last day I would be able to go to the beach. So I spent the morning doing the domestic diva stuff and then I lathered up with sunscreen and went off to damage my skin for the price of beauty. When I first arrived at . . . Hollywood Beach (I'm not kidding that's the name) it was kind of deserted. It was almost noon and usually there are quite a few sun worshippers there by then. I began to think that summer was unofficially over as far as boy's beach was concerned. However, I forgot it was Saturday. All the beach boys had been out all the night before and wouldn't begin arriving for another hour. Those boys! Sure enough, by the time I left around three-ish, the place was a virtual cornucopia of bathing bods in speedos and tight-ass shorty-shorts. Makes me dizzy just thinking about it.

I spent the remainder of Saturday afternoon cooking up some blackeyes and bacon. No, not very Hollywood. Actually, very Southern. I had a craving that had to be filled. A little garlic, red pepper, and cumin. Mmmmm! I, of course, returned to my Hollywood theme that evening and watched a couple movies rented from Blockbuster. I suppose I should have rented from Hollywood Video but, as I already stated, I hadn't planned to have a Hollywood weekend, it just happened. I watched a little indie film called Latter Days. It was a cute, slow love story directed by the guy who did Sweet Home Alabama about two gay boys who meet in (where?) West Hollywood and eventually find love.
Jacquelyn Bisset does a great turn as a restaurateur where all the prinipal actors work, of course. I also watched Secret Window with Jonny Depp. Not so good. I'm sure the story of the mad writer (or whatever) has been done before. In fact, I'm sure I've seen this moving before with other actors done by someone else.

I spent the first part of Sunday at the Renegade Craft Fair in Wicker Park. Before arriving, I was wondering what made it renegade but after seeing it I think it had something to do with all the quirky crafts on display. There was one crafter who made colorful wigs that looked like dreadlocks. Another did hand bags made out of old record album covers. There was an artist who did disturbingly deformed little characters and beasties. Another made monster-like pillows. There were the usual assortment of quilters, knitters, jewelry designers, and clothing makers. There were also a consortium of artists who do the promo posters for shows at the Empty Bottle. They were very cool. I bought one of the original posters for the cd release party of the former HeathersDamage.

After the fair, I met my friend Christina and her daughter Lucy at the (are you ready?) Hollywood Grill. It's true! I was really surprised to because the food there has vastly improved since the last time I had been there. They had expanded the space and the walls were covered in an assortment of kitchy Hollywood memorbilia. I had a cheddar-bacon grill cheese on rye with fries. Lucy had pretty much the straight-up traditional grill cheese. However, Christina, claiming to be famished, ordered both a fetta burger and blue- berry pancakes! I told her she was nuts. She swore she wasn't even full afterward.

I completed my Sunday with (no surprise here) the Emmys. I actaully only watched the red carpet stuff and then flipped back and forth between Charmed and the first hour, then I entirely skipped the second hour for Jack & Bobby. However, I did see both Michael Imperioli and Drea de Matteo win theirs. Wasn't it cute how two people who played lovers on the same show both won? They deserved it. However, neither SJP nor Kelsey Grammer really needed to get it again. Did they? Especially SJP. Although, what a surprise when Cynthia Nixon got it over Kim Cattrall. I suppose the Academy went with the single mom story line over the more controversial breast cancer survivor story line, not to mention (or celebrate) the sexual freedom of KC's character on Sex. James Spader grabbing lead actor was interesting. He was only on The Practice for a short time. I was delighted for the Sopranos to grab best drama series, but another surprise was that Arrested Development got it for best comedy series. Good choice nonetheless.

That about wraps up my Hollywood weekend. Next week's post will be a Big Apple weekend. That's right, I'm off to New York where I'm sure to come back with the most fascinating tales to tell.

"Know Thyself"

In my constant state of curiousity, I sometimes find myself doing personality tests because A) I get a kick out of them and the results and B) I have way too much time on my hands in my current occupation. The test I took today was a Jung Typology Test. It was very quick and painless. I simply answered a number of "yes" or "no" questions and then I was given my type, which is a INFJ (explained below), and multiple, detailed explanations from different Jungian analysts. Of course, it's all free. To take the test yourself, go here: Typology Test

Here's what one analyst (the most concise) has to say about the INFJ personality:

The Counselor Idealists are abstract in thought and speech, cooperative in reaching their goals, and directive and introverted in their interpersonal roles. Counselors focus on human potentials, think in terms of ethical values, and come easily to decisions. The small number of this type (little more than 2 percent) is regrettable, since Counselors have an unusually strong desire to contribute to the welfare of others and genuinely enjoy helping their companions. Although Counsleors tend to be private, sensitive people, and are not generally visible leaders, they nevertheless work quite intensely with those close to them, quietly exerting their influence behind the scenes with their families, friends, and colleagues. This type has great depth of personality; they are themselves complicated, and can understand and deal with complex issues and people.

Counselors can be hard to get to know. They have an unusually rich inner life, but they are reserved and tend not to share their reactions except with those they trust. With their loved ones, certainly, Counselors are not reluctant to express their feelings, their face lighting up with the positive emotions, but darkening like a thunderhead with the negative. Indeed, because of their strong ability to take into themselves the feelings of others, Counselors can be hurt rather easily by those around them, which, perhaps, is one reason why they tend to be private people, mutely withdrawing from human contact. At the same time, friends who have known a Counselor for years may find sides emerging which come as a surprise. Not that they are inconsistent; Counselors value their integrity a great deal, but they have intricately woven, mysterious personalities which sometimes puzzle even them.

Counselors have strong empathic abilities and can become aware of another's emotions or intentions -- good or evil -- even before that person is conscious of them. This "mind-reading" can take the form of feeling the hidden distress or illnesses of others to an extent which is difficult for other types to comprehend. Even Counselors can seldom tell how they came to penetrate others' feelings so keenly. Furthermore, the Counselor is most likely of all the types to demonstrate an ability to understand psychic phenomena and to have visions of human events, past, present, or future. What is known as ESP may well be exceptional intuitive ability-in both its forms, projection and introjection. Such supernormal intuition is found frequently in the Counselor, and can extend to people, things, and often events, taking the form of visions, episodes of foreknowledge, premonitions, auditory and visual images of things to come, as well as uncanny communications with certain individuals at a distance.

Mohandas Gandhi and Eleanor Roosevelt are examples of the Counselor Idealist (INFJ).
**This information is taken from here: Keirsey

"The Saturday Review"

Dear readers, what a pleasant Saturday I had this 09/11 anniversary. As it happens, I didn't do much in remembrance of that awful day three years back. I think it's really a private affair for those who were directly affected. Well, yes, one could say that all of America was affected and to some respects that's true but Americans are all about moving on. I haven't, nor will ever be able to, put it completely out of my mind. The day will always be known as 09/11.

Alas, I spent the first part of the day, if one can call from noon onward the first part, visiting some of my fave art galleries in the River North area. I began my visits at Printworks, which is showing Nicholas Sustler. It's an amazing showing of gouache on paper minutely detailed and very colorfully rendered pieces. Each one is probably no larger than 3x5" and Sustler has this amazing ability to show room spaces at odd angles and from unusual perspectives with a photo realist quality. Also, each piece carries within its subject something of the risque element. The title of the entire show is "Hot & Bothered" and the artist himself had flames pasted all along the walls of the exhibit to add to the overall impression. Worth a look.

Next I ventured over to Ann Nathan, which lately has regularly excited me with their collection choices. Today I saw the work of Nola Romano which was playful and disturbing and blazing with color. Her medium is acrylics on canvas and most are rather large, probably around 3x5 feet and many are made up of multiple canvases. Her subject matter seems to deal with feminist issues and she uses herself as a focal point character in all of her pieces. In other words, self portraits but there are many versions of herself so it's like seeing twins or clones. These characters, or representations of herself or women, are often involved in some type of experimental activity or seem to be questioning some aspect of their existence. I'm sure I'm not quite capturing her essence but more can be learned from the website.

Lastly, I stopped over at Carl Hammer where I had the delight of seeing a Henry Darger retrospective. Now here's an interesting case study. Darger was one of those reclusive artist whose work never saw the light of day during his life and was only discovered a short time ago. He spent his life creating an alternate reality through his drawings and writing. The pieces are of mammoth porportions and depict characters and events in the lives of his alternate universe. It would be much too hard to try to explain them, they simply must be seen. However, I am noticing a curious comparison between his work and the work of Heather Accurso. I'll explore this more later in a separate post but both of these artist work in the area of creating alternate realities that feature female-like beings.

In the second part of my day, I went to a fabulous party at Miss Charlotte's where the focus of the evening was a viewing of the cult classic film Repo Man starring Emilio Estevez. As is often the case at Miss Charlotte's soirees, there was an interesting assortment of people gathered, however, last evening's group represented a new element in party going that I had not experienced before. You see, dear reader, everyone, save our hostess and myself, drank either water or virgin daiquiries. This stood out for me, because there I was happily putting back glass after glass of red wine, along with Miss Charlotte, while everyone else sipped (sipped!) sparkling water and slurpies. Although, I wonder if Miss Charlotte was only drinking to be a good hostess? Probably not. There were a few times during the evening when I waited for her to offer more wine before partaking of it myself. I think at one point I referred to myself as a lush in a self-deprecating manner to both admit my own folly and to add a little humor to the situation. It's interesting that I was not bothered in the least about being the only male in attendance amongst 7-8 females. I think we all had a pleasant time and enjoyed one another's company. Although, I can't help wonder what the assemblage thought of me, per se. I never got around to telling them I am a poet but, perhaps, that could have explained all my other foibles away? I can just hear the conversation now:

"What did you think of that eccentric young man at the party?"
"He can sure put it away!"
"He's certainly comfortable around the opposite sex."
"Well,he's gay."
"Well, that explains the drinking."
"And his wit."
"Not to mention his good looks. Why is it that men who like men always look so good?"
"I don't know about that, ladies, but I do know something else about him."

An attentive silence ensues.

"He's a poet."
"A poet! Well, that explains everything."
"Oh, a poet. How exciting!"
"I'd be wary of poets, ladies, if I were you. You never know what they're going to say."

"It depends on when you were born"

As I was just perusing Miss Charlotte's blog page, I came across this link to a site about what traits are associated with a person's birth month. It's, of course, uncannily right on. Although, this particular website encourages folks to strike out those aspects that they don't feel should be attributed to them. The truth is, all of what it stated about September, my month (which we're in!), is pretty fair, even the seemingly (off-worded, let's say) slightly cruel aspects. We all have our dark side. Anyway, instead of striking out any of mine, I just elaborated where I thought something needed more detail. Evidently it's completly in my nature to be critical. I might as well embrace it. If you'd like to see what your birth month states about you, click here: b-month

Here's what mine states about me:

SEPTEMBER:
Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Likes to point out people's mistakes. Likes to criticize (aren’t those two basically the same idea?). Stubborn (well, according to Webster’s, this could mean Determined and Persistent). Quiet but able to talk well (who wrote this? I think they mean well spoken. Am I being too critical?). Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal but not always honest (I love this and it’s quite true. Trust me, the truth isn’t always what people want). Does work well (Perhaps too well and consequently underpaid). Very confident. Sensitive-Thinking. Generous. Good memory (Yeah, watch out!). Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information (We educated types call this research). Must control oneself when criticizing (Why?). Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive (mysterious?). Loves sports (sex?), leisure and traveling. Hardly shows emotions (not to just anyone). Tends to bottle up feelings (There we go again with stating the same idea twice). Very choosy, especially in relationships (I view this as a very healthy trait). Systematic.