Summer Furey

The temps are increasing a little bit each day and by Friday, it'll be 80. I don't know much about spring fever but I live for summers. I don't know if it's because I grew up in a tropical climate or something more mysterious, deeper in me, that draws me to the warmth, even hot and humid heat. Of course, it's natural for human beings to want to be warm but most people who live in the northern climes appreciate, or tolerate, the cooler months. I hate them. I especially hate when the temps increase for a couple days or a warm week, then suddenly plunge back down as quickly as they rose. Although, it's probably our fault the weather is so off balance. Granted, there is a certain amount of fluctuation in weather patterns but it's supposed to have a pattern. It isn't supposed to be unpredictable. There's a reason meterologist can do their job to a reasonable extent. They read the fronts, the temps, the winds, the storms, and can reasonably forecast what's to come. But what happens when they are so totally off the mark? What happened when the weather does a complete about face from what all the signs seemed to say? Is it the gods of old saying, "We're still here and we still have power over your meager lives!" Or is it the earth crying out from the wounds inflicted upon her? Is global warming real? Does it matter that we (as a species) have systematically erradicated entire species of plants, animals, people, and eco systems?

An Inconvenient Truth, a documentary by Al Gore, looks at what we've done to affect climatic changes across the world. Both corporate interests and intentional ignorance (the worst injustice) have eaten away at the earth's resources in such a profound way that the earth is having difficulty keeping it all together. She's cracking up. I tend to believe that most coporate CEOs recognize this and know that their decisions will have long term effects on the environment but with the thought, "Not in my life time ..." Except, here we are and the CEOs are still here and the planet is under the weather, beseiged by its own defenses. If you can do nothing else, go see this film. Don't succumb to intentional ignorance. You can decide for yourself what you believe once you have all the facts. I'm not suggesting Gore's film will make or break the argument, but it will add more substance to the question. What have we done? And, if you believe the question, then you have to ask, what can we do?

Bad, bad blogger!

I was reading some current and old posts on my friend Charlotte's blog (I can't remember how to create a hyperlink, so if you're interested, there's a link to her site over there on the right. It's called deli-cut.) and she was bemoaning blogging and the internet in general, or, at least that is my recollection of what she had written. Anyway, I'm kind of in the same boat, or, if that wasn't what she was talking about, then I'm in my own boat and it's a boat of people who are growing weary of their blogs. Relatively, I'm a newbie to this. I only began this blog about 2-3 years ago. When I first started it, I vowed to update it at least once a week. Since that avid vow, my posts have dwindled, sometimes to just once a month. It's not that I don't have anything to say but that, maybe, I need a new way to say it. We're all so bombarded with so many kinds of media these days that often, lately, I find myself consciously using less media, or exposing myself to less, than I used to. In fact, and this is sad, I recently received a very nice iPod. I think it may be the one with video, but I haven't even opened the package. I already spend hours a day on a computer and the net as part of my job. Then there's TV and radio. Oh, I discovered that I can listen to the radio through my cell phone and I can take digital pictures with it too! Everywhere I look is technology and media. No wonder I crave peace, quiet, and the countryside. I think I'll go for a walk ... right now!

United 93

I wasn't going to see this film. It wasn't because of the subject matter exactly, only remotely. Anyone who knows me, knows I hate to fly. Sometimes I get so anxious that it almost paralyzes me. Sometimes I pop a couple Xanax. My main issue with going to see this film was that it concerned four forced plane crashes. So, after my volleyball game Saturday, I decided just to go see what was playing since it was gray and rainy outside. When I arrived at the cinema, the only film that was about to begin was United 93.

The film itself was very well portrayed and my hats off to all those involved including actual individuals involved on the day in question. There were actual military and FAA personel in the film portraying themselves as they acted on 9/11. The film's main focus was a fictionalized account of what may have happened on United flight 93 that day and was built out of the collected phone conversations made to family and friends from the plane before it went down. According to the film, the passengers never intended to just crash the plane but had hoped to regain control of it and land. Unfortunately, the complete mayhem that ensued whilst they were fighting back against the highjackers is (in this fictionalized account) what caused the plane to crash.

Watching this, seeing the desperation and fear of the passengers, was so intense that now, at midnight, I can't sleep because of the sound of planes going by overhead. It's like being freaked out after a horror film and every little sound gives you the creeps. Of course, I also asked a couple of friends if I could come out to visit this summer and fall. That is, fly out. I have flown since 9/11 but after seeing this film I feel as freaked out about it as I did right after 9/11. The question is, would I recommend this film to anyone else. Definitely. Just be prepared. And if you're not ready, if it's too soon for you, don't go. It's film, it'll wait.

Other People's Lives

It's Easter Sunday morning, early, and I've just rolled out of bed with thoughts of other people's lives on my mind. I was thinking about my friend Christina who was confirmed as a Catholic last night at Holy Name Cathedral. It was quite an affair because it was coupled with the Easter vigil service. The whole Mass took four hours. Gods, I thought, make us do the craziest things. Also, Christina's daughter, Lucy, was baptized as a Catholic. They both had their first communion and it was very special for them. For myself, I felt very cynical about all of it. I sat in a reserved pew just for friends and family of the new converts and I stared at the ornate ceiling and rolled my eyes as the offering baskets went around. Does the Catholic Church really need any more money? That's what was on my mind. I also couldn't help but pity one of the priests who gave the sermon (oops, that's a Protestant term ... homily) and he gave it like a freshman essay. "Three points," he said. "I'm going to cover three points on why [G]od is love." He went on to lay out a very shaky foundation based soley on a Catholic perspective on why [G]od is love and how human beings reject that love because we are sinful. "[G]od," he said, "doesn't need man but made man because he ..."(A little aside here, what's with the gender id on gods?) "... desired someone to love and he loved us into existence." Now, isn't desire very much like need? This priest, the other Catholics, my friend, and her daughter all seemed so moved by it all last night, but, for me, it all fell on deaf ears. It's their lives, I thought.

My life has been about learning and experiencing. And through the life I've led, I can't possibly, in good conscience, lead a religious life. I wasn't even able to take to Paganism. However, the idea of a sense of spirituality does make sense. There is an aspect of being human that is also spiritual. There are those aspects of ourselves that are beyond explanation or outside the strict boundaries of science. Sometimes I feel in touch with the entire universe, while other times I'm so drawn in that I'm only aware of myself. When I die, when this body putters out, will that be it? A blackout? I don't tend to think so, because I believe in those things outside the realms of science and, perhaps, outside the realms of any religion. Religion was created to deal with death, not with life. It was created to give people something to look forward to and something to keep themselves occupied so that their minds weren't dwelling on the inevitable. However, why do I suspect that there's something more than this life? Honestly, it's inexplicable. Although, I do know that no religion can tell me why I believe it or should. In a world of labels, what am I now? Agnostic? Diest? Just spiritual, I guess.

Dating Dummies

The dating game is over! Okay, maybe not over but at least this phase of it is coming to a close. The two blokes I've been seeing have failed a crucial test. They both told me they wanted to see me this past weekend but neither even attempted to contact me. I know what you're thinking. Why didn't I contact them? I'll tell you. It was I who contacted both of them initially and set up two consequent dates with both of them. I had to make all the arrangements both times for both guys. I'm not looking to be anyone's booking agent. I'm looking for dudes who want to see me as much as I want to see them. I'm not writing them off completly but they'll have to reach out to me if they want to see me again. In the meantime, I'll reach out to some new potentials. I wonder if Rupert Everett is available?

A bit of this and a bit of that

The dating game continues with no lasting results just yet. Although, I've been on more dates in the last six weeks than I have in the last six years. It's clearly not a ritual I care much for. I hate all the awkwardness of getting to know someone. And, as most of us know, you can't ever really know someone entirely. Alright, I'm sure some of you disagree with that but I believe everyone has any number of things they choose not to tell anyone else, or things that they'd confide to a friend but withhold from a lover. Face it, the LTR has many more complications involved that just aren't impacted by friendships. I'm no psychologist, though I've seen my share of them, and I'm sure there are contradictions to everything I'm stating here, but this is my blog and the way I see it. Basically, I just want someone to stand out from the mix so I can focus on him and forget the others. Is that too much to ask?

In other news, I've been buying old TV series on DVD. Recently, I purchased the old 60's series The Prisoner and the early 70's series Space 1999. If anything, I've found that they both intrigue me more today than they did when I was a child. All I could really remember about The Prisoner was the "white ball" that herded up escapees. However, it was a way more political and avant-garde show for its time that explored ideas of big brother-dom, censorship, civil rights, and identity. Also, this past weekend I picked up the mid 1990's series American Gothic. This was created by Shawn Cassidy who has recently brought Surface. I remember hearing about it when it originally aired but I believe that was a period when I didn't own a TV. For those who haven't seen it or don't recall, it's set in S. Carolina (Jennie?) and basically tells a creepy good vs. evil tale. I'm simplifying hugely here and am unable to elaborate in the way it deserves. This is why I don't write reviews. Next I plan to get UFO, the first Gerry Anderson's series featuring real people. He also did the original Thunderbirds and Fireball XL5, both of which had puppets for characters.

Bachelor Number 3 ...

The Dating Game. Well, so far things are happening at a steady pace and I've met three attractive and interesting men. They all have good jobs, good looks, and enough commonalities that we would make a good match. Of course, I've only seen each one time. This Saturday, I'll have my second date with Bachelor Number 1. He's in pharmaceutical sales and loves the arts. I think we're going gallery hopping and then for a bit of lunch. Bachelor Number 2 has been let go. He was very interesting, a former actor turned pilates instructor and studying chiropractic medicine but I think he's too busy to really be involved in a budding relationship. And then there's Bachelor Number 3. He's a film and commercial editor. Successful, attractive, and very likeable. He was actually introduced to me through a friend at work. Actually, my friend Jacque told me about him but wouldn't introduce me. She had this fear about being a matchmaker. So I had to be proactive and introduce myself. So far, so good. Our first meeting went well. Will it be Bachelor Number 1 or Bachelor Number 3? Stayed tuned.

"Dating Again!"

It's true. I can hardly believe it. I guess all my excuses for not are completly used up. For the longest time, I blamed it on my education but the better part of a decade later and two degrees, I guess that excuse is over and done with. It's not to say I haven't shopped around at all in that time but I definitely made it a low priority. I'm still unsure it's risen that much in my priority list. I've never felt like I needed anyone else to complete me. I don't believe in there being another half (as Hedwig sang) or a soul mate. I believe that humans are communal and do need to be near others like us but the idea of anything long term is really a man-made construct. Anyway, enough philosophy. I recently decided to try Match.com and see what happens. I posted a profile and some pix. I wrote a decent intro and tried not to exaggerate. I highlighted my interest and attempted to capture my most compatible mate. Although, when it's all said and done, I honestly don't know who my most compatible would be. I don't think I want someone too much like me. I'm an artist (passionate, opinionated, politically active, and prone to depression. HA!) at heart. It's not an easy package to "match" up. I think I need someone who is more stable than I am both financially and emotionally. I'm doing well now but as any artist knows, we have our good times and not so good. So, I've gotten some responses to my profile/ad (that's what it feels like ... an ad ... man for sale) and yesterday went on my first date. It went fine. We met for coffee and it expanded into lunch. Although, afterward I was concerned I had food stuck in my teeth. This guy is artistically minded but works in sales and marketing (stable). We'll see. I'm also talking with a pilates instructor who is studying chiropractic medicine. Sounds interesting, right? Only, he's a bit shorter than I am. Not sure how I feel about that. HA! We'll see.