Bachelor Number 3 ...

The Dating Game. Well, so far things are happening at a steady pace and I've met three attractive and interesting men. They all have good jobs, good looks, and enough commonalities that we would make a good match. Of course, I've only seen each one time. This Saturday, I'll have my second date with Bachelor Number 1. He's in pharmaceutical sales and loves the arts. I think we're going gallery hopping and then for a bit of lunch. Bachelor Number 2 has been let go. He was very interesting, a former actor turned pilates instructor and studying chiropractic medicine but I think he's too busy to really be involved in a budding relationship. And then there's Bachelor Number 3. He's a film and commercial editor. Successful, attractive, and very likeable. He was actually introduced to me through a friend at work. Actually, my friend Jacque told me about him but wouldn't introduce me. She had this fear about being a matchmaker. So I had to be proactive and introduce myself. So far, so good. Our first meeting went well. Will it be Bachelor Number 1 or Bachelor Number 3? Stayed tuned.

"Dating Again!"

It's true. I can hardly believe it. I guess all my excuses for not are completly used up. For the longest time, I blamed it on my education but the better part of a decade later and two degrees, I guess that excuse is over and done with. It's not to say I haven't shopped around at all in that time but I definitely made it a low priority. I'm still unsure it's risen that much in my priority list. I've never felt like I needed anyone else to complete me. I don't believe in there being another half (as Hedwig sang) or a soul mate. I believe that humans are communal and do need to be near others like us but the idea of anything long term is really a man-made construct. Anyway, enough philosophy. I recently decided to try Match.com and see what happens. I posted a profile and some pix. I wrote a decent intro and tried not to exaggerate. I highlighted my interest and attempted to capture my most compatible mate. Although, when it's all said and done, I honestly don't know who my most compatible would be. I don't think I want someone too much like me. I'm an artist (passionate, opinionated, politically active, and prone to depression. HA!) at heart. It's not an easy package to "match" up. I think I need someone who is more stable than I am both financially and emotionally. I'm doing well now but as any artist knows, we have our good times and not so good. So, I've gotten some responses to my profile/ad (that's what it feels like ... an ad ... man for sale) and yesterday went on my first date. It went fine. We met for coffee and it expanded into lunch. Although, afterward I was concerned I had food stuck in my teeth. This guy is artistically minded but works in sales and marketing (stable). We'll see. I'm also talking with a pilates instructor who is studying chiropractic medicine. Sounds interesting, right? Only, he's a bit shorter than I am. Not sure how I feel about that. HA! We'll see.

The Art of Magic

The art of creating something out of nothing is an act of magic. It’s not only something born out of joy and love, but also out of our hurts and sorrows. And while it may not be a cure for the emotions that can assail us, it does allow us to step past the barrage of helpless sensation into other, less numbing, perspectives where it’s possible to find a breathing space, and perhaps even some emotional balance.

~Charles de Lint
from Granny Weather

We all deserve to be Absolutely Fabulous!

I'm tired of leading a less than satisfactory life. I feel relatively good about my accomplishments but I'm so tired of living in the midwest and I can't seem to find a way out. I can't seem to save enough money to move, nor can I find a job in any other city myself. Nor have I won the lottery, though lots of loosers win it every day. Well, I'm not a looser but I could still use the dough. Recently, I've tired sending my resume out to a search firm that may be able to help. Although, after I uploaded it to their site, it no longer seemed as impressive to me as it is on paper. Of course, I've often flirted with the idea of just chucking everything, or trying to sell some stuff (furniture), and then just go but I'm concerned that I won't be able to pull it off. However, I did do it once before when I came to Chicago. Why couldn't I do it again? Perhaps I'll have a martini, smoke a bowl, and stew on it.

Is it 2006 Already?

Man, the holidays seem to fly by! I can't believe we're already into the new year and more of the same old shit. It seems like I have less to say this year than last or keeping this page up is beginning to wear on me. It's only because my friend Charlotte keeps hers up that I even put in a nominal effort. Although, I was very good about writing something every week last year. I guess that's what has changed for me in '06. I'm busier.

Work is what it is but I'm fairly pleased with the extra money I'm making as a F/T employee. It's so nice not to have to stress as much at the end of the month when bills are due and to watch in total dismay as my bank account hovers near bankruptcy. Thinking about bills reminds me that I totally hate Sallie Mae and would not recommend them to anyone as a student loan provider. They have dicked me around so much that I'm considering suing, if I can come up with an actual case. It's too depressing to go into all the details of their debauchery but let's just say their customer service department has been outsourced to India and those nice Indians haven't a clue how to be helpful. All I know is, I have to get this thing paid off as soon as I can, if not before.

Okay, here's something good that happened recently. I had a fantastic new year's eve and day. I spent it with my friend Tamara and we decided to see a double feature. It wasn't a real double feature, we just decided to go see two films with dinner in between. We saw The Squid and the Whale and The White Countess. I thought both were very good but I had some sleepy issues in the latter. I think it was from the martini I had at dinner. If you haven't seen these flicks, basically the former is about a family going through a divorce. It's pretty dark and disturbing but all the performances are quite good, especially the two boys. The latter is the last Merchant/Ivory production and is set in 1930s Shanghai. Natasha Richardson and Ralph Fiennes find love in war-torn China. If the story doesn't grab ya, the cinematography will.

After the flicks, Tamara and I returned to her place and proceeded to consume a bottle of wine each. We talked endlessly and watched Before Sunset. The following day, we drank endless amounts of water (go figure), went out for brunch with friends, and kept up our lively conversation way into the evening. I've never talked so much continuously. In fact, I don't think I spoke to anyone the following day.

It's truely sad, but I can't wait for Invasion to start back up and finish out their first season. What's gonna happen when people start to realize they're no longer human? How will the conflict change between the hold-out humans and the growing contingent of aliens? Does this sound like Invasion ... of the Body Snatchers? Hm.

Hope everyone out there is A OK.

Thanks for reading this aimless jabber!

Tune in for more in a few weeks.

Where in the World is Michael Staples?

I'm still here. However, since going F/T at work I've completly forgotten to update this page. My new job is almost as crappy as my P/T gig but with much more responsibility. There's life for ya. True, I finally have some health insurance again after not having anything since 2002. Hard to believe? It's true and not nearly as terrifying as I once thought it would be, though a bit inconvenient when you have to cart yourself in the early twilight hours to the free clinic or Cook County for services. No more of that.

So, in my new position, I'm an actual Acquisitions Editor. Whoo-Hoo! What's that? Oh, well, it basically means I worked my ass off for our crappy editors trying to "acquire" whatever and whomever they think is needed to pull any number of books together. I was doing this before but now I have to do budgets and schedules and all the other boring minutiae that comes with managing projects. Why am not a Project Manager like all those wanna-be "Trumps" on the Apprentice? Couldn't say but I like my title better.

Lately, I've been working on a book for making your own Living Will. Kind of morbid, I know, but necessary too. The gods know we don't all want to be tube fed or resuscitated a million times. I'm okay to go should I be in such a state. Anyway, I'm going to spend alittle time haunting all my friends and traveling. Speaking of haunting, I'm also working on our 2006 edition of Halloween Fun. Yes, well, this is one of the odd things about publishing an annual magazine on Halloween. You have to start long before the holiday. We actually just wrapped a book on Easter crafts. It's like the fashion industry, a season ahead.

Aside from work, I've been working out fairly often. Unfortunately, it hasn't done much to my physical appearance but I do feel pretty good. I've also joined a volleyball league through my club and have been playing the sport for almost 5 months. I'm almost at the point where my teammates don't scowl every time the ball comes my way. Just wait, next season I'll be really great.

Anyone seen Jarhead? What about The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe? Both great and recommended. However, skip Brokeback Mountain. Sorry friends but it's nothing like it claims to be. I was very disappointed in Ang. He did a better job on The Wedding Banquet.

Gods, look at the time! I gotta go! More later.

Happy Holidays!!

Big Questions, Short Answers

The following questions and answers concern the weighty topic of ending discrimination against gays and lesbians right to marry in the U.S. All material, save this intro, is from:

Wolfson, Evan. Why Marriage Matters: America, Equality, and Gay People's Right to Marry. Simon & Schuster. New York, 2004.

1. Why does our country need "gay marriage"?

We don't. The term "gay marriage" implies that same-sex couples are asking for rights and privileges that married couples do not have, or for something lesser or different. What gay people are seeking is the legal and equal freedom to marry the person they love and care for, just as non-gay Americans do. The Constitution's guarantee of equal protection and the right to marry belongs to us all.

2. Why do same-sex couples need the right to marry?

Many committed same-sex couples share the same responsibilities as married couples. However, without the freedom to marry, they do not receive the same recognition or protections for their families as married couples. In fact, same-sex couples and their kids face tremendous discrimination. For example, lesbians and gay men who have been their partner's primary caretaker are often denied hospital visitation when there's been an accident or illness, or the ability to obtain "family" health coverage, or taxation and inheritance rights, or even protection in case the relationship ends. Sometimes they see their children taken away, or their role as a parent denied. Regardless of the fact that they have taken responsibility for thei children's and their partner's well-being, both economically and emotionally, legally their status is, at best, that of a roommate. Denied the freedom to marry, same-sex couples and their kids are deprived of literally thousands of legal and economic protections and responsibilities, as well as the emotional, social, and spiritual meaning that marriage has for many.

3. Why change the definition of marriage?

Ending the exclusion of gay people from marriage would not change the "definition" of marriage, but it would remove a discriminatory barrier from the path of people who have made a personal commitment to each other and are now ready and willing to take on the responsibilities and legal commitment of marriage.

This is not the first time our country has struggled over the exclusion from and discrimination in marriage. Previous chapters in American history have seen race discrimination in marriage (ended only in 1967), laws making wives legally inferior to husbands (changed as late as the 1970s and 1980s), resistance to allowing people to end failed or abusive marriages through divorce (fought over in the 1940s and 1950s), and even a refusal to allow married and unmarried people to make their own decisions about whether to use contraception or raise children (decided in 1965).

In each of these struggles, opponents of equality claimed that the proposed change was "against the definition of marriage" and "against God's will." Many of the same claims are made today by opponents now seeking to prevent loving same-sex couples from taking on the legal commitment of marriage. Fortunately, our country rejected the "sky is falling" claims opponents of equality and made marriage a more inclusive and fair commitment of equals. Today we realize that government discrimination in marriage is wrong, and that the choice of a marriage partner belongs to the committed people, not politicians or pressure groups.

4. Isn't marriage really about procreation?

No. Many non-gay people marry and cannot or do not have children. Any many gay men and lesbians do have children but have been denied the right to raise those children within a marital relationship. Legally and in reality, marriage is best understood as a relationship of emotional and financial interdependence between two people who make a public commitment. Many people wanting to get married---gay or non-gay---wish to be parents; many others do not. The choice belongs to the couple, not the state.

5. What if my religion opposes same-sex relationships?

This is not about forcing any church to perform or extend religious recognition to any marriages it doesn't want to. This is about the right to the civil marriage license issued by the state, which religious groups should not interfere with (just as the state should not interfere with religious ceremonies one way or the other). Of course, many lesbians and gay men are active in their respective religions, many of which do recognize and suppot their loving unions and commitments.

6. Why aren't domestic partnerships or civil unions good enough?

In one state, Vermont, there is now a nonmarriage marital status called "civil union," and other states from California to New Jersey have begun creating new legal relationships to begin providing protections and legal obligations for committed same-sex couples and their kids. Often, in certain municipalities and companies, this limited recognition of relationships between unmarried partners, including same-sex couples, is called "domestic partnership." The legal and economic consequences of such nonmarriage protections vary considerably and are of value to the families covered. However, neither civil unions nor domestic partnerships cofer the full security and range of tangible and intangible protections a marriage itself. Such additional forms of recognition and no substitute for the equal right to marry.

7. Isn't this a bad time to fight for the right to marry?

To some, there is never a good time to fight any battle for equal rights. But same-sex couples are lining up by the thousands all across the country seeking marriage licenses, while legislatures and courts are grappling with ending discrimination. Meanwhile, opposition groups for their own political purposes and broader anti-gay, anti-civil-rights, and anti-choice, and anti-separation-of-church-and-state agendas, are trying to stampede politicians into denying not just marriage, but any equal protections or recognition for America's gay couples and families. As always in the struggle for human rights, the outcome will depend on how those of us committed to equal rights engage in the state-by-state and national leagl and political battles under way and on how many fair-minded (non-gay) Americans speak up against discrimination and division.

8. How can I help?

Whether you are gay or non-gay, you can help by speaking out against discrimination and in favor of equal responsibilities and rights for all Americans. By telling your personal stories and explaining to your family, friends, co-workers, neighbors, and fellow citizens why you cannot remain silent at a crucila civil rights turning-point. By supporting or joining the broad-based coalition of gay and non-gay individuals and groups that support equal marriage rights. By signing on to the Marriage Resolution at www.freedomtomarry.org, and asking others to do the same. By telling politicians, judges, neighbors, and others that it is time to end discrimination throughout the United States.

Fall is kinda sorta in the air

Was this past weekend spectacular or what!? That clear blue sky and the temperate temp was the best. Why can't Chicago always be just like that! Although, it's strange, I used to prefer much warmer temps. I suppose if I had my druthers, I would still prefer more temperate temps year round but I don't currently have my druthers, so I must deal with the impending doom of dreary, depressing, and life threatening winter. Okay, maybe that's a bit melodramatic.

I went to see Thumsucker over the weekend. It was a curious film about self dicovery, gaining self confidence, and getting the hell away from home. The cast was quite good including Tilda Swinton (love her!), Vincent D'Onofrio, Vince Vaughn, Keanu Reeves and others whose names escape me (as names often do). I'm no film critic, so I can't really (at all) tell you why I liked it or what worked versus what didn't. All I can say is, it made me feel good but it wasn't a feel-good movie by any means.

I decided I needed to re-pot my houseplants before winter set in and getting out on the back porch would be unbearable. Although, with this Indian fall were experiencing there may be good days yet. Anyway, while I was perusing the foilage at Home Depot I decided I needed a new big plant and something striking. So, I bought a palm and an orchid. Oddly (but providentially), there was also a woman on some orchid board there when I was and she told me I had an excellent eye for orchids. Hm. She also gave me the lowdown on orchid care for seasons of good orchid to come. We'll see. However, my apartment does seem much improved with the addition of the palm and the orchid. Ah!

(incoming random thought) I just remembered I was supposed to upload pix from the D.C. march.