I'm feeling anxious about everything right now. I'm returning to my late graduate studies, which I abandoned in a state of disinterest and problems with my program. I was led to believe that things had improved within the program but I found out over the weekend that one of the last two classes I need to finish this thing had been cancled due to lack of enrollment. This has been a problem since I began this program, especially in my concentration. I've been able to combat it by taking independent studies in lieu of classes but it was the class format I wanted from this program. In some ways, it feels like it was all a waste. But, I also feel like not completing it now, when I'm nearly there, would be a greater waste. I'll be through by September. It's funny, this situation seems to be reflective of much of the years I've spent in the midwest. It's always been a place of tenuous possibilities that crumble under the oppressive weight of reality. I feel kept down by so many forces from the harsh climate to unsteady employment to a general lack of enthusiasm to being here. It seems like my life has been swallowed up in the abyss of the midwest. Hours are eternal here but there's never enough time. The days seem shorter than they are ever long. I always miss the summer and dread the winter. This past weekend, we had an extreme blizzard blow through that buried us all in piles of snow. That's how I feel. Buried.
