What a difference a friend makes!

I had a fantastic weekend, which was most needed. I spent the whole weekend with friends and made a new one by the end. On Saturday, I got it into my head that I wanted to have a cat again. I haven't had one since my ill-fated experience with Trinity which just didn't work out. We weren't a very good match. Trinity was young and rambucous, while what I needed was a cat that was a little older and mellow. I never realized you could go to a shelter and talk about personalities, traits, and the like and they can invariably match you up with the "purrfect" cat. I found, through my neighbor, an awesome no-kill shelter near my house called Felines, Inc. It's this nondescript two flat on Devon and Paulina that is just brimming with all sorts of cats and kittens. They take them in from other shelters and folks who are no longer able to care for them. I highly recommend them to anyone who may be looking for a companion cat. Anyway, I went there and found Wick, below. We bonded immediately! He's quiet, loving, beautiful, and unusual. He's a manx, so really not much of a tail. He looks a bit like a Lynx. His name coming into the shelter was Badger, but neither he nor I cared much for that name. It has the word "bad" in it. I asked him if he'd be cool with Wick and he took to it right away.

On other parts of the weekend, I went out with my friends David and Arthur for Indian food at Hema's Kitchen near Devon and Oakley. I had heard mixed reviews about the place. Actually, most of what I'd heard was quite good but my friend Jamie, who has been to India a number of times, didn't really care for the place. Although, I think it's mostly because they are a northern Indian cuisine place and she much prefers southern-vegetarian Indian cuisine. I swear they made the absolute best chicken vindaloo I have ever had. The spicyness was so complex. Not overpowering. It came upon the palette slowly, carefully building in heat and could be extinguished with a little bread or yogurt. We ate a bit too much which put us all into a food coma after. But, again, highly recommended. Service, food, variety - four stars!

On the last part of the weekend, I went to the Chicago Antiques Market in the Foulton Market district. Wow! What an amazing collection of vendors and artifacts. And, great deals to be made. No matter what you're looking for, they have it or something close. Jewerly, art, furniture, clothes, music, etc. And, yesterday, Ethel's Chocolate was giving out free samples. OMG! I think I sampled a bit too many. PB&J chocolates, martini chocolates, mojito chocolates, keylime pie chocolates, banana rum chocolates, and more fab flavors. I spent the day with my strikingly beautiful friend Tamara, who is also a buyer/seller of antique jewelry. We had a blast. You should check it out too.

When it rains it pours!

After a really great weekend, an auspicious 9/11 has lived up to its cursed history. I woke this morning feeling exhausted and unable to face a day at the office. Work seems unbearable and almost pointless on days like today. Of course, it's totally raining outside and the temperature has dropped to a very cool 59. Even if it is "that time of year," I protest and want the warmth back for a little while more. It seems I'll get my wish this time as the weather gods are swearing on 80 by weeks end. However, the weather is the least of my worries these days. Aside from my recent health debaucles, I learned today that my friends that I was set to go visit in San Fran in two weeks are in the middle of a nasty break up. That news totally blows any desire to go out there, so I'm postponing it for now. In addition, I'm just not feeling like international travel either, so I'm also postponing my India trip that was planned for January. I could say any number of reasons for why this is all going down right now (today), but its all really unnecessary. Essentially, we all have to do at any given time what we think is best for ourselves. With all the crap going on in the world and my questionable health, traveling just seems more like work than vacation. Did I mention that my car wouldn't start yesterday? My planets must all be in retrograde or perhaps on a collision course with eachother. Maybe I'll just take a little road trip down to the country. Some fresh air and racists may be just what the doctor ordered.

A Change in the Air

I read the saddest thing on my friend Charlotte's blog yesterday. It seems she's probably going to give up her blog of six years where she has shared some really funny and some sad times in her life. Even though I haven't been able to see her as much as I'd like, I've been able to virtually keep in touch through her blog. I've been going through periods myself where I don't feel like updating mine either. When I first started it, I was committed to updating it at least once a week, sometimes more. But as with anything that goes from new and exciting to just maintenance, it becomes harder to keep it a priority. I have so many interests and blogging has fallen by the wayside.

Things in general are interesting, I guess. I've been going through some health woes lately. Over the past 2-3 weeks, I've been seeing this doctor who's been helping me with my digestive issues. He tried to place me on some supposedly low-key drugs but one made it seem like I was on chemo and the other gave me panic attacks. They both made for a debilitating two weeks. As you may imagine, I've ceased to take either of those goodies and instead have returned a more homeopathic route. For instance, I've up'd my water intake from 6-8 glasses a day to 3 liters. This, of course, sends me to the bathroom quite frequently but I'm told that will subside once my body adjusts to the greater amount. I was also off wheat for a long time, as many of you know. This was due to a recommendation by a former doctor who believed I had Celiac due to my symptoms but my new doctor isn't so sure and plans to retest me but I have to be actively eating it for it to show so I've been indulging in bagels, pastries, and bread. On another front, my dentist recently referred me to a periodonist because of some gum issues. I went to see him yesterday and he basically has me lined up for three gum graphs over the next year. Evidently it's not something you can do all at once. There's also the issue with insurance. Mine is about to be capped out for the year, so it's better to wait unti early next year to complete everything. I've always seen myself as a work in progress but not quite in this way.

I bought a new bike recently. Well, it's new to me but I bought it from a co-worker. It's a retro-looking Schwinn cruiser, black and red, six speeds, and two fold-out baskets on the back. It really suits both my personality and my physicality more than the mountain bike I've had for the past four years. I got so tired of riding long distance in that bent over position. It was killer on my back and shoulders. But on the cruiser, I can sit upright.

Did anyone see the special extended version of 20/20 the other night where they talked about the top 10 ways the Earth could be destroyed? What was that all about?!

Well, it's September 1st and fall will be on our heads soon. I guess I'm looking forward to the leaves changing and the cooler air. I didn't used to care for it because it was an announcement for the coming winter. But now after 16 years in the midwest, I guess I'm getting used to it. Alittle. Although, I will escape out of town a couple more times before the year is out. I'm totally psyched for a trip I'm taking to the westcoast at the end of the month. I'm going to see friends both in San Francisco and in L.A. However, I'm dreading the airports now more than ever. What a mess travel has become.

What your food may say about you.

It's been awhile since I took part in a survey but anytime I feel the urge, there's always plenty of fun ones to be found on my friend Charlotte's blog. This one asks questions about fav foods and other food related things.

How do you like your eggs?
As a child, I loved them over easy so I could dip toast and bacon into the oozing yolks. Although, these days, I tend to have them over well or scrambled till browned.

How do you take your coffee/tea?
Coffee with cream, not milk, and no sugar. Tea straight up.

Favorite breakfast foods:
These days coffee is about all there is to my breakfasts but there was a time when I was all into cereals, pastries, and fully cooked American breakfasts.

Peanut butter: smooth or crunchy?
Smooth, but I'm not opposed to crunchy.

What kind of dressing on your salad?
I tend to vacillate between honey-mustard and balsamic vinaigrette.

Coke or Pepsi?
Neither! I gave up sodas years ago.

You're feeling lazy. What do you make?
Make? I go out.

You're feeling really lazy. What kind of pizza do you order?
Ah pizza! Unfortunately, since finding out I’m allergic to gluten; I don’t eat pizza much anymore. I’ve bought rice crust pizzas and added my own toppings but there’s nowhere to order gluten free pizzas from that I know of.

You feel like cooking.
If I’m up for cooking, then anything is game. I’ve done stir frys, pot roasts, steaks, pasta, fish, casseroles, and crazy salads.

Do any foods bring back good memories?
This may seem gross to some people but I used to love peanut butter and jelly mixed up in a bowl. There aren't any specific memories associated with this but I also don't do it anymore.

Do any foods bring back bad memories?
I don’t have any bad memory associated with food but I can’t stand the taste of milk after it’s dropped to room temperature. Actually, I’ve never enjoyed drinking milk on its own. Milk is a mixer!

Do any foods remind you of someone?
There’s this great summer time dish my friend Trish created. It has no name that I know of but it was made with brown rice, black beans, raisins, sliced apples, mandarin orange slices, mango chutney, grilled chicken, and seasonings. Mmmmm!

Is there a food you refuse to eat?
I’ll try anything once.

What was your favorite food as a child?
Little Debbie Oatmeal Raisin cookies.

Is there a food that you hated as a child but now love?
Everything most kids typically hate like most cooked vegetables, liver/onions, coffee, etc. There isn’t anything I don’t like but some things I can’t have.

Is there a food that you loved as a child but now hate?
No, but there are many foods I ate as a child that I wouldn’t eat now due to all the crap manufacturers seem to think has to be added.

Favorite fruit?
Blueberries

Favorite vegetable?
Spinach

Favorite junk food?
Reese’s White-Chocolate PB Cups

Favorite between meal snack?
Nuts, Cheese, Chocolate

Do you have any weird food habits?
Well, I have eaten PB and mayo (not together) right out of the jar.

You're on a diet. What food(s) do you fill up on?
If anyone I know thought I was on a diet, they might have an intervention.

You're off your diet. Now what would you like?
Reese’s White-Chocolate PB Cups

How spicy do you order Indian/Thai?
Very! Once I was out with my friend Trish (different from the one who created the rice dish above) and we were at this Chinese place in Rogers Park. Our server asked us how spicy we’d like our meal and we said, “Make us cry.” They did.

Can I get you a drink?
Sure! Sky Vodka Martini, Cuervo Gold Margarita, or some very dry red wine.

Red wine or white?
Above

We only have beer.
I used to love a rich, dark beer like Guinness but since discovering my allergy to wheat …

Favorite dessert?
Reese’s White-Chocolate PB Cups

The perfect nightcap?
Just smoke a bowl.

God Damn Squirrels!

This morning as I was preparing to go to work, and attempting to arrive on time for a change, I was doing the 1-2-3 times around the apartment to make sure the backdoor was locked and the coffee maker was turned off and the stove was off (not that I had used it) and, lastly, that the ACs were set right, I discovered that a squirrel had eaten a hole through both side panels of the livingroom AC. Ahrg! So much for being on time. I had to rip out all the packing tape I had placed around the window to cover the gaps (those window ACs never fit perfectly) and redo it while compensating for the new damage. Then, because so much of the cool air had already leaked out, I had to put the unit on high for the day so that the livingroom wouldn't be an oven when I got home from work. Also, I heard a rumor from my downstairs neighbor that my landlord is planning to buy new windows for the whole building! Now, I would definitely miss our cool vintage windows but I wouldn't miss the ones that don't open or the ones where the wood has rotted away or the ones that shake in the wind. Of course, none of this may matter if I move.

I've been thinking about moving, locally, into a roommate situation. I'm so bloody broke and my pathetic salary is causing me to fall further and further behind. I'm besieged by expenses like the cost of living, skyrocketing gas (my itty-bitty tank should be filled for less than $20 but it takes close to $34), and food. I can easily spend $60-100 bucks on the amount of groceries that fit into one of those hand carts! My car is giving me some problems. Dalloway is old and constantly needs some kind of work. Currently she could use about $1100 in upkeep. I hate cars. Okay, I like the convenience but they cost as much as a kid to keep up. I don't want kids. Why do I have a car?

Anyway, I'm looking into shacking up with some strangers to help alleviate costs. I've scanned the ads in the Reader and Craigslist trying to find a liveable situation and I've sent a few inquiries but people are so slow to respond. The whole process wears me out. More than likely, nothing will come of it. I've lived on my own terms for so long that it would be difficult to merge with others. But, if I happen to find the perfect arrangement where I have, say, my own bathroom and utilities included, then maybe. Truth be told, I just want to move right on out of Chicago but that's old news. Not sure how to pull that one off without becoming seriously homeless.

Speaking of moving, I just read my friend Jennie's blog and she seems quite fed up with L.A. However, the post is inconclusive as to what she plans to do. It seems the whole world is fed up and unsure as to what to do.

Where Have I Been?

Since the last time I posted, not including the photos from Pride weekend below, I was out of town for awhile. I took a week and a half vaca down to Ft. Lauderdale where I nested at a cool little hotel called the Worthington. This place had a real community kind of vibe, kind of like an international hostel. I met peeps from all over the country and one cute boy from Australia.

The hotel is really made up of two properties next door to eachother and most of the interactions among guests take place around the courtyard clothing optional pool and jacuzzi. The management bills it as fun and frisky, which it was for the most part , though with any place like that the frivolity depended alot on who was currently in residence.

The first 3-4 days I was there, there were a great group of guys who provided a 24/7 open bar for all guests. The hotel does a happy hour on the weekends but these guys decided it should be extended throughout every day. However, no one was desperately drunk every day as you might imagine although one poor soul did fall into the bushes and the side of the pool. This group kept life happening within the hotel grounds almost all day and night every day, so much so, that I didn't really go out at all until late the next week after most of them had left and a new group came in. The newbies weren't much for hangin around all the time, but this was good because I needed to see some of the life Ft. Lauderdale had to offer.

I went out to all the hot clubs in town including Voo Doo, Jackhammer, Alibi, and Boom. I had a fantastic dinner one night with some friends from San Fran called Herban Kitchen. The portion was large enough to feed, at least, five people. Most of the gay life takes place in a neighborhood called Wilton Manors where a centralized strip mall structure houses both the Alibi and Boom as well as an assortment of retail stores.

Of course, I went to the beach a few times and it was wonderful. The sand was clean and the water was almost warm due to the 90 degree days. Trust me, I wasn't complaining. Growing up in Florida, I always miss the ocean and the tropical climate. Alot of the people I met were looking into buying vaca places down there but I don't know if I'd want to spend much more time than I did on a regular basis. It was fun but it's still Florida. Flat and uneventful. I wish I had made it down to South Beach which wasn't that far away but I was kept pretty busy and content in Lauderdale. Maybe next time. Now I'm planning a trip to the west coast.

Pride Chicago 2006

Summer Furey

The temps are increasing a little bit each day and by Friday, it'll be 80. I don't know much about spring fever but I live for summers. I don't know if it's because I grew up in a tropical climate or something more mysterious, deeper in me, that draws me to the warmth, even hot and humid heat. Of course, it's natural for human beings to want to be warm but most people who live in the northern climes appreciate, or tolerate, the cooler months. I hate them. I especially hate when the temps increase for a couple days or a warm week, then suddenly plunge back down as quickly as they rose. Although, it's probably our fault the weather is so off balance. Granted, there is a certain amount of fluctuation in weather patterns but it's supposed to have a pattern. It isn't supposed to be unpredictable. There's a reason meterologist can do their job to a reasonable extent. They read the fronts, the temps, the winds, the storms, and can reasonably forecast what's to come. But what happens when they are so totally off the mark? What happened when the weather does a complete about face from what all the signs seemed to say? Is it the gods of old saying, "We're still here and we still have power over your meager lives!" Or is it the earth crying out from the wounds inflicted upon her? Is global warming real? Does it matter that we (as a species) have systematically erradicated entire species of plants, animals, people, and eco systems?

An Inconvenient Truth, a documentary by Al Gore, looks at what we've done to affect climatic changes across the world. Both corporate interests and intentional ignorance (the worst injustice) have eaten away at the earth's resources in such a profound way that the earth is having difficulty keeping it all together. She's cracking up. I tend to believe that most coporate CEOs recognize this and know that their decisions will have long term effects on the environment but with the thought, "Not in my life time ..." Except, here we are and the CEOs are still here and the planet is under the weather, beseiged by its own defenses. If you can do nothing else, go see this film. Don't succumb to intentional ignorance. You can decide for yourself what you believe once you have all the facts. I'm not suggesting Gore's film will make or break the argument, but it will add more substance to the question. What have we done? And, if you believe the question, then you have to ask, what can we do?

Bad, bad blogger!

I was reading some current and old posts on my friend Charlotte's blog (I can't remember how to create a hyperlink, so if you're interested, there's a link to her site over there on the right. It's called deli-cut.) and she was bemoaning blogging and the internet in general, or, at least that is my recollection of what she had written. Anyway, I'm kind of in the same boat, or, if that wasn't what she was talking about, then I'm in my own boat and it's a boat of people who are growing weary of their blogs. Relatively, I'm a newbie to this. I only began this blog about 2-3 years ago. When I first started it, I vowed to update it at least once a week. Since that avid vow, my posts have dwindled, sometimes to just once a month. It's not that I don't have anything to say but that, maybe, I need a new way to say it. We're all so bombarded with so many kinds of media these days that often, lately, I find myself consciously using less media, or exposing myself to less, than I used to. In fact, and this is sad, I recently received a very nice iPod. I think it may be the one with video, but I haven't even opened the package. I already spend hours a day on a computer and the net as part of my job. Then there's TV and radio. Oh, I discovered that I can listen to the radio through my cell phone and I can take digital pictures with it too! Everywhere I look is technology and media. No wonder I crave peace, quiet, and the countryside. I think I'll go for a walk ... right now!

United 93

I wasn't going to see this film. It wasn't because of the subject matter exactly, only remotely. Anyone who knows me, knows I hate to fly. Sometimes I get so anxious that it almost paralyzes me. Sometimes I pop a couple Xanax. My main issue with going to see this film was that it concerned four forced plane crashes. So, after my volleyball game Saturday, I decided just to go see what was playing since it was gray and rainy outside. When I arrived at the cinema, the only film that was about to begin was United 93.

The film itself was very well portrayed and my hats off to all those involved including actual individuals involved on the day in question. There were actual military and FAA personel in the film portraying themselves as they acted on 9/11. The film's main focus was a fictionalized account of what may have happened on United flight 93 that day and was built out of the collected phone conversations made to family and friends from the plane before it went down. According to the film, the passengers never intended to just crash the plane but had hoped to regain control of it and land. Unfortunately, the complete mayhem that ensued whilst they were fighting back against the highjackers is (in this fictionalized account) what caused the plane to crash.

Watching this, seeing the desperation and fear of the passengers, was so intense that now, at midnight, I can't sleep because of the sound of planes going by overhead. It's like being freaked out after a horror film and every little sound gives you the creeps. Of course, I also asked a couple of friends if I could come out to visit this summer and fall. That is, fly out. I have flown since 9/11 but after seeing this film I feel as freaked out about it as I did right after 9/11. The question is, would I recommend this film to anyone else. Definitely. Just be prepared. And if you're not ready, if it's too soon for you, don't go. It's film, it'll wait.

Other People's Lives

It's Easter Sunday morning, early, and I've just rolled out of bed with thoughts of other people's lives on my mind. I was thinking about my friend Christina who was confirmed as a Catholic last night at Holy Name Cathedral. It was quite an affair because it was coupled with the Easter vigil service. The whole Mass took four hours. Gods, I thought, make us do the craziest things. Also, Christina's daughter, Lucy, was baptized as a Catholic. They both had their first communion and it was very special for them. For myself, I felt very cynical about all of it. I sat in a reserved pew just for friends and family of the new converts and I stared at the ornate ceiling and rolled my eyes as the offering baskets went around. Does the Catholic Church really need any more money? That's what was on my mind. I also couldn't help but pity one of the priests who gave the sermon (oops, that's a Protestant term ... homily) and he gave it like a freshman essay. "Three points," he said. "I'm going to cover three points on why [G]od is love." He went on to lay out a very shaky foundation based soley on a Catholic perspective on why [G]od is love and how human beings reject that love because we are sinful. "[G]od," he said, "doesn't need man but made man because he ..."(A little aside here, what's with the gender id on gods?) "... desired someone to love and he loved us into existence." Now, isn't desire very much like need? This priest, the other Catholics, my friend, and her daughter all seemed so moved by it all last night, but, for me, it all fell on deaf ears. It's their lives, I thought.

My life has been about learning and experiencing. And through the life I've led, I can't possibly, in good conscience, lead a religious life. I wasn't even able to take to Paganism. However, the idea of a sense of spirituality does make sense. There is an aspect of being human that is also spiritual. There are those aspects of ourselves that are beyond explanation or outside the strict boundaries of science. Sometimes I feel in touch with the entire universe, while other times I'm so drawn in that I'm only aware of myself. When I die, when this body putters out, will that be it? A blackout? I don't tend to think so, because I believe in those things outside the realms of science and, perhaps, outside the realms of any religion. Religion was created to deal with death, not with life. It was created to give people something to look forward to and something to keep themselves occupied so that their minds weren't dwelling on the inevitable. However, why do I suspect that there's something more than this life? Honestly, it's inexplicable. Although, I do know that no religion can tell me why I believe it or should. In a world of labels, what am I now? Agnostic? Diest? Just spiritual, I guess.

Dating Dummies

The dating game is over! Okay, maybe not over but at least this phase of it is coming to a close. The two blokes I've been seeing have failed a crucial test. They both told me they wanted to see me this past weekend but neither even attempted to contact me. I know what you're thinking. Why didn't I contact them? I'll tell you. It was I who contacted both of them initially and set up two consequent dates with both of them. I had to make all the arrangements both times for both guys. I'm not looking to be anyone's booking agent. I'm looking for dudes who want to see me as much as I want to see them. I'm not writing them off completly but they'll have to reach out to me if they want to see me again. In the meantime, I'll reach out to some new potentials. I wonder if Rupert Everett is available?

A bit of this and a bit of that

The dating game continues with no lasting results just yet. Although, I've been on more dates in the last six weeks than I have in the last six years. It's clearly not a ritual I care much for. I hate all the awkwardness of getting to know someone. And, as most of us know, you can't ever really know someone entirely. Alright, I'm sure some of you disagree with that but I believe everyone has any number of things they choose not to tell anyone else, or things that they'd confide to a friend but withhold from a lover. Face it, the LTR has many more complications involved that just aren't impacted by friendships. I'm no psychologist, though I've seen my share of them, and I'm sure there are contradictions to everything I'm stating here, but this is my blog and the way I see it. Basically, I just want someone to stand out from the mix so I can focus on him and forget the others. Is that too much to ask?

In other news, I've been buying old TV series on DVD. Recently, I purchased the old 60's series The Prisoner and the early 70's series Space 1999. If anything, I've found that they both intrigue me more today than they did when I was a child. All I could really remember about The Prisoner was the "white ball" that herded up escapees. However, it was a way more political and avant-garde show for its time that explored ideas of big brother-dom, censorship, civil rights, and identity. Also, this past weekend I picked up the mid 1990's series American Gothic. This was created by Shawn Cassidy who has recently brought Surface. I remember hearing about it when it originally aired but I believe that was a period when I didn't own a TV. For those who haven't seen it or don't recall, it's set in S. Carolina (Jennie?) and basically tells a creepy good vs. evil tale. I'm simplifying hugely here and am unable to elaborate in the way it deserves. This is why I don't write reviews. Next I plan to get UFO, the first Gerry Anderson's series featuring real people. He also did the original Thunderbirds and Fireball XL5, both of which had puppets for characters.

Bachelor Number 3 ...

The Dating Game. Well, so far things are happening at a steady pace and I've met three attractive and interesting men. They all have good jobs, good looks, and enough commonalities that we would make a good match. Of course, I've only seen each one time. This Saturday, I'll have my second date with Bachelor Number 1. He's in pharmaceutical sales and loves the arts. I think we're going gallery hopping and then for a bit of lunch. Bachelor Number 2 has been let go. He was very interesting, a former actor turned pilates instructor and studying chiropractic medicine but I think he's too busy to really be involved in a budding relationship. And then there's Bachelor Number 3. He's a film and commercial editor. Successful, attractive, and very likeable. He was actually introduced to me through a friend at work. Actually, my friend Jacque told me about him but wouldn't introduce me. She had this fear about being a matchmaker. So I had to be proactive and introduce myself. So far, so good. Our first meeting went well. Will it be Bachelor Number 1 or Bachelor Number 3? Stayed tuned.

"Dating Again!"

It's true. I can hardly believe it. I guess all my excuses for not are completly used up. For the longest time, I blamed it on my education but the better part of a decade later and two degrees, I guess that excuse is over and done with. It's not to say I haven't shopped around at all in that time but I definitely made it a low priority. I'm still unsure it's risen that much in my priority list. I've never felt like I needed anyone else to complete me. I don't believe in there being another half (as Hedwig sang) or a soul mate. I believe that humans are communal and do need to be near others like us but the idea of anything long term is really a man-made construct. Anyway, enough philosophy. I recently decided to try Match.com and see what happens. I posted a profile and some pix. I wrote a decent intro and tried not to exaggerate. I highlighted my interest and attempted to capture my most compatible mate. Although, when it's all said and done, I honestly don't know who my most compatible would be. I don't think I want someone too much like me. I'm an artist (passionate, opinionated, politically active, and prone to depression. HA!) at heart. It's not an easy package to "match" up. I think I need someone who is more stable than I am both financially and emotionally. I'm doing well now but as any artist knows, we have our good times and not so good. So, I've gotten some responses to my profile/ad (that's what it feels like ... an ad ... man for sale) and yesterday went on my first date. It went fine. We met for coffee and it expanded into lunch. Although, afterward I was concerned I had food stuck in my teeth. This guy is artistically minded but works in sales and marketing (stable). We'll see. I'm also talking with a pilates instructor who is studying chiropractic medicine. Sounds interesting, right? Only, he's a bit shorter than I am. Not sure how I feel about that. HA! We'll see.

The Art of Magic

The art of creating something out of nothing is an act of magic. It’s not only something born out of joy and love, but also out of our hurts and sorrows. And while it may not be a cure for the emotions that can assail us, it does allow us to step past the barrage of helpless sensation into other, less numbing, perspectives where it’s possible to find a breathing space, and perhaps even some emotional balance.

~Charles de Lint
from Granny Weather

We all deserve to be Absolutely Fabulous!

I'm tired of leading a less than satisfactory life. I feel relatively good about my accomplishments but I'm so tired of living in the midwest and I can't seem to find a way out. I can't seem to save enough money to move, nor can I find a job in any other city myself. Nor have I won the lottery, though lots of loosers win it every day. Well, I'm not a looser but I could still use the dough. Recently, I've tired sending my resume out to a search firm that may be able to help. Although, after I uploaded it to their site, it no longer seemed as impressive to me as it is on paper. Of course, I've often flirted with the idea of just chucking everything, or trying to sell some stuff (furniture), and then just go but I'm concerned that I won't be able to pull it off. However, I did do it once before when I came to Chicago. Why couldn't I do it again? Perhaps I'll have a martini, smoke a bowl, and stew on it.

Is it 2006 Already?

Man, the holidays seem to fly by! I can't believe we're already into the new year and more of the same old shit. It seems like I have less to say this year than last or keeping this page up is beginning to wear on me. It's only because my friend Charlotte keeps hers up that I even put in a nominal effort. Although, I was very good about writing something every week last year. I guess that's what has changed for me in '06. I'm busier.

Work is what it is but I'm fairly pleased with the extra money I'm making as a F/T employee. It's so nice not to have to stress as much at the end of the month when bills are due and to watch in total dismay as my bank account hovers near bankruptcy. Thinking about bills reminds me that I totally hate Sallie Mae and would not recommend them to anyone as a student loan provider. They have dicked me around so much that I'm considering suing, if I can come up with an actual case. It's too depressing to go into all the details of their debauchery but let's just say their customer service department has been outsourced to India and those nice Indians haven't a clue how to be helpful. All I know is, I have to get this thing paid off as soon as I can, if not before.

Okay, here's something good that happened recently. I had a fantastic new year's eve and day. I spent it with my friend Tamara and we decided to see a double feature. It wasn't a real double feature, we just decided to go see two films with dinner in between. We saw The Squid and the Whale and The White Countess. I thought both were very good but I had some sleepy issues in the latter. I think it was from the martini I had at dinner. If you haven't seen these flicks, basically the former is about a family going through a divorce. It's pretty dark and disturbing but all the performances are quite good, especially the two boys. The latter is the last Merchant/Ivory production and is set in 1930s Shanghai. Natasha Richardson and Ralph Fiennes find love in war-torn China. If the story doesn't grab ya, the cinematography will.

After the flicks, Tamara and I returned to her place and proceeded to consume a bottle of wine each. We talked endlessly and watched Before Sunset. The following day, we drank endless amounts of water (go figure), went out for brunch with friends, and kept up our lively conversation way into the evening. I've never talked so much continuously. In fact, I don't think I spoke to anyone the following day.

It's truely sad, but I can't wait for Invasion to start back up and finish out their first season. What's gonna happen when people start to realize they're no longer human? How will the conflict change between the hold-out humans and the growing contingent of aliens? Does this sound like Invasion ... of the Body Snatchers? Hm.

Hope everyone out there is A OK.

Thanks for reading this aimless jabber!

Tune in for more in a few weeks.