This morning, I, and a few other early risers were enjoying some slovenly, skin punishing rays. It's the price of beauty. Alright, so you can do it without the aid of any sun at all these days. But have you ever tried using a self-tanner? Talk about messy. And, if you're alone, what about the back? Someone needs to develop a self-tanner applicator for reaching those hard to get to places. I don't know, though. I grew up in South Florida and have been enjoying (for better or worse) the sun's brilliant energy and the transformation it creates in me as I become summerized!
Anyway, there I was, and the few others who take in early morning sun. Oh yeah, I go out around 8-8:30ish and leave by noon. I don't know that the rays are any less harsh at that time but I'm an early riser and mornings just seem like a good time to tan my hide. The beach I go to now, now that I live in the Midwest and have to accept that the closest thing to an ocean is a big ass lake, is a very liberal kind of beach. Or has been. It's predominantly a gay beach. Gay guys but sometimes you'll see the girls there too. There's no posted signs and no one says to anyone, "hey, this is a gay beach," it's just sort of became that over the years. I guess we just sort of congregated there and claimed it as our own. I guess it makes sense since it's also called Hollywood Beach.
Okay, I keep getting off on tangents but I'm leading to the jist of this little tale. One of the other boys out this morning is someone I recognize from the beach but not someone I've ever been formerly introduced to. I recognize this guy because he is A) very attractive and B) always wears a thong. He's kind of a fixture down there. He's almost always there. I have no idea what he does at other times. Maybe he's a professional tanner? Hm. Well, so there we all are getting our dose of sunshine when strolling down the beach comes one of the lifeguards. He walks up to "thong-boy" and proceeds to tell him, out of the blue, that our fair city of Chicago has passed a city ordinance banning anyone from wearing thongs on the beach. Needless to say, thong-boy is pissed off and tells the hapless lifeguard to go take a hike, or come back with bigger guns. Off he went. Then, back he came with the "captain" (her shirt had Captain written across the front) of the beach. The cheery, 350 pound, big and round, captain proceeded to reiterate the new beach policy and tell tales of how she has had to communicate this bizarre new rule to both men and women. Well, thong-boy still didn't quite believe it and asked to see the city ordinance. It didn't seem like an unreasonable request. I'm sure he was just there the day before in his tong. She acquiesed but requested that he, please, cover up in the meantime. Thong-boy waited for her to leave and then slid into some red-hot, tight ass shorts. He, and his friends, left early that day.
The situation got me to thinking about all the hoo-haw over gay marriage lately. I mean, this idea that one can be banned from doing something so banal. How dare anyone be so comfortable with their bodies as to wear a thong. And, how dare two people, of the same sex, who are in love even want to marry. Come on! Yeah, maybe the transition from thongs to marriage is a bit of a leap but that's the way my mind operates. I just don't see what this threat is that some conservatives seem to think will somehow errode the institution of marriage. What is the gay community suppossed to do? How are we to take care of our loved ones if we can't receive the same protections and benefits under the law that those in the straight community take for granted? If we are all Americans, then how can this even be an issue?
Look, I've heard all the arguments, on both sides, for and against. But, how can our government even consider the idea of excluding a significant part of the American population from the right to marry. They can't stop us from falling in love. They can't stop us from committing to life long partners. They can't even stop us from adopting or having surrogate children. Okay, maybe my last point will come up next if this marriage issue comes in against us. I'm just tired of it all. Let people love who they want to love and, dammit, be happy for them. Let them have the tax breaks. Let them take care of their loved ones when they're sick. Let them inherit without angry family members butting in where they never wanted to be. Just let us live our lives, just like you do.
