Recently, I've been thinking a lot about my health and general wellbeing. I've been dealing with an ongoing kidney stone episode that everyone I speak to about it describes kidney stones as the worst pain ever. When the episode first manifested itself over three weeks ago (yes, three weeks!), I had been staying at a friend's place in Santa Barbara where I was living at the time and we had just wrapped a wonderful weekend of feasting on the most delicious foods. My friend, Meagan, is a fantastic chef. She once owned her own Chinese restaurant on St John's Island in the Caribbean. Now she has an awesome Airbnb accommodation in downtown Santa Barbara where one can experience all that wonderful city has to offer and sample some of her amazing cooking which goes well beyond Chinese cuisine. Anyway, I digress. On this particular morning, I was scheduled to embark on a cross country road trip. However, I woke feeling an intense pain in my left side that started in my lower back and radiated all the way around to my navel. At first, I thought it might be related to my chronic issues with IBS, which, if you don't know can be any number of gastrointestinal issues classified as IBS because its actual source is unidentified. Strangely, the pain didn't register at all during the night as I remember getting up to use the restroom at some point and going back to bed without feeling anything out of the ordinary. However, shortly after waking, this intense pain began to quickly manifest and all I could do was squirm around in bed trying to find a more comfortable position. I could hear Meagan was already up and doing something in the living room. I lied there debating both what to do and what could be causing the discomfort. Honestly, I thought I had had too much rich food over the weekend and was simply suffering from indigestion, which is something I had experienced before though not exactly like this. I decided to cut our morning short and get back to my own residence in Ventura, California, which is about a 30 minute drive south of Santa Barbara. I made hasty apologies to Meagan, gathered my belongings, and hightailed it out of there.
I was lucky it was a Sunday morning as there was very little traffic. Later in the afternoon, the 101 would be gridlocked as weekenders return to Los Angeles. As I drove, the pain intensified and many times I considered pulling over or getting off the freeway altogether, but at the same time, I just wanted to get home. I actually began to cry out in my car from the intensity of the pain. I probably should not have been driving. After getting back to my place, I first went into my bedroom and tried just lying back down and considered my options. I kept thinking the pain would lesson or that there was something I could take to help. Instead, the pain intensified enough that I eventually called 911. Now, I never call 911 unless it is a dire emergency and I feel my life may, in fact, be threatened. I was doubled over and crying. I gave the 911 operator the lowdown and she dispatched an ambulance. Thankfully, I lived within less than a quarter mile from both the hospital and the fire station. Even though they arrived in probably less than five minutes, it felt like an eternity. I had left the front door opened and was crouched on the living room sofa. I heard my next door neighbor outside and called out to him to come over. I told him what was happening and he watched out for the paramedics. Once they arrived, fire engine in tow (its a law to send a fire engine whenever an ambulance is called), my neighbor directed the paramedics inside. They asked what I was experiencing and took my vitals. One of the paramedics immediately identified the symptoms as a probable kidney stone as he had had the same issue himself. He said, "It was the worst pain ever!," which is a refrain I would hear time and again. I'm sure hearing that so often has contributed to my absolute fear and anxiety throughout this situation and what's still to come. At this writing, I am still waiting to pass the damn thing.
The paramedics helped me onto the stretcher, which from my perspective seemed precariously high and unstable. My 6 foot frame didn't quite seem to fit on it. They were going to have me lie down, but I said that would be impossible and needed to be sitting up. Once onboard, they asked what hospital I wanted to go to. County or private? I asked which was closer. Community Memorial, which is a private hospital less than a quarter mile from my house. Since I knew my insurance would cover the visit, I said let's go there and we were off. No sirens were used but the driver seemed to speed through town anyway. Maybe the ambulance lights were flashing, I don't know. On the way, the paramedic in back checked my vitals again and said my blood pressure was a little elevated. You don't say, I thought, but didn't say anything out loud. I just nodded as I tried to breathe through the discomfort. Upon arrival at the ER, I was wheeled right in. Now, I have to stop and say, thank the gods I arrived by ambulance, because had I have been driven by my neighbor or arrived by my own means, I would have been sitting in the waiting room for at least 20-30 minutes. Sometimes, it's worth it to call an ambulance. The on duty nurse asked the paramedics about my situation and they gave her what was thought. Kidney stone. The place was completely empty at that time, but would soon fill up. I was wheeled into a curtained off bay and soon IV'd for fluids and blood draw. It took them a little while to provide me with any pain medication. I believe I was seen by the doctor on duty first who was not immediately available, even though, as I said there we're no other patients there yet. Eventually, a nurse came along and said I would be given morphine. As soon as the injection was administered, I could feel a strange warmth come over me and, thankfully, the pain receded. I was asked to provide a urine sample, which I could not do laying down, even if I weren't in any pain. I suppose once one learns not to bed wet as a child, laying down to pee doesn't work anymore. lol. After donning one of those tie-in-the-back hospital gowns, I made my way to the restroom down the corridor and provided the requested sample. I won't describe it, but I could tell from the color that my insides were under duress. Shortly thereafter, they decided to run a CT scan and I was wheeled away. During the scan, they administered a contrast dye to help any abnormality to stand out. The whole process took less than 15 minutes before I was returned to my bay in the ER. Sadly, somewhere between the CT scan room and the return to the ER my pain returned with a slow building vengeance. This is something I've experienced with morphine before. The relief comes on quickly, but its effects are relatively short lived. I wonder if that is the reason some people become addicted to it due to the need to re-administer and ward off pain so often. It's also probably the reason they would not give me any further doses. I sat suffering and largely ignored for about 20 minutes when a nurse came by with a couple hydrocodone tablets, which I take regularly now. She thought they would knock me out and insisted I get someone to drive me home. However, drugs simply don't affect me in that way. I have a huge tolerance both for pain and pain medications. At some point, the ER doctor returned and simply stated that I did in fact have stones. He did not give me any details other than stones in general. I was given a script for the hydrocodone, a referral to a urologist, and an aftercare protocol that was basically to drink lots of water and wait for the stones to pass on their own. Thankfully, no one said it would be the worse pain ever when they do.
I returned home and made arrangements to postpone my trip for a week. I filled the Rx and waited for the stones to pass, which they never did. However, the pain eventually did pass. I also did a bunch of research on the net about kidney stones and ways of treating them "naturally." I came across a variety of possible regimens including lemon water, apple cider vinegar, and an herb called Chanca Piedra. Since I have a certificate in herbalism and believe in its efficacy, I did further research on Chanca Piedra and found a product called Disolvatol from Kidney Stone Labs. It's website had all kinds of case studies and research into the effectiveness of the herb, also known as the stone blocker or stone destroyer, and plenty of testimonials. Plus, I was freaked out enough by my experience thus far and the thought of the worse pain ever to give it a try. I ordered one bottle and anxiously waited for it to arrive via priority mail. While the directions on the bottle suggest 2 capsules daily, it was suggested on the website to do 4, 2x daily for acute cases. I took 2 in the morning and another 2 in the evening. While it did upset my stomach a little, mostly through bloating and gas, there were no other unpleasant side-effects and after a couple of days I had no further pain. I never did see any evidence of a stone passing, but I truly believed the product had done whatever it was supposed to do and I went back to my regular life.
Seven days after my visit to the ER, I left on an itinerary-less, cross country road trip. I only generally knew I wanted to drive from California to Florida, but even until the day before I left, I hadn't decided on a route or did I have any advanced reservations. You can read all about my travels on my Instagram page, but during the trip I did have a few episodes of renewed kidney pain. However, these episodes seemed mild compared to that first time, so I chalked them off as post trauma and just took more Chanca Piedra a.k.a. Disolvatol. Each time, the pain went away and I forgot about it. After arriving in south Florida and stopping in to see my parents in Melbourne, over the course of about a week I began having intermittent discomfort that slowly grew in intensity. At first, I was able to deal with it through fasting because I thought it was IBS related. Then I began taking hot baths, which provided some relief. Unfortunately, last Thursday night I could not get to sleep no matter what I did. I had pain in my lower back and in my navel. It didn't radiate around my side as it did the first time, so I didn't make a kidney stone connection. Through my insurance, I can call a nurse 24/7 for basic medical advice. I called the number and explained my symptoms. She did conclude it as kidney stones and recommended I go to the ER. This time I was driven in by my father. And, even though there wasn't a soul in the waiting room at 5:30am, I did have to wait for about 20 minutes before being examined. Once again, I was placed in a room and IV'd. I had to provide a urine sample and I was given morphine. They ran another CT scan and lo and behold there was still a stone. This time, however, they gave me a little more information. I was told I had a 5mm stone and that 5.5mm stones had to be surgically dealt with but that I could safely pass this one. "It's the worst pain ever" kept reverberating through my head. I was also told it had descended into my bladder and the passing would be in the next few days. That was Friday and today is Sunday. It hasn't passed yet. Once again, I was given an Rx for hydrocodone and one for Flomax, which is supposed to help relax the urinary tract muscles so that the stone could more easily be passed. And against my own wishes to stay, they sent me back to my folks place. Since then, I have been taking the pain meds whether I have pain or not. It's called "staying ahead of the pain" so that it isn't upon me before I can fend it off. Unlike the first time, I have been drinking gallons of lemon water and taking the Flomax. I've also been taking the Disolvatol every day. For the most part, I've felt okay. I've changed the way I take the herb though. Instead of 2 capsules 2x a day, I now take 1 capsule 4x a day and seem to tolerate it better. Sometimes my appetite is low, but mostly it's my morale. I'm not used to being this out of sorts, nor on so many medications. I'm tired of being cooped up in my parent's guest room, but I'm afraid to leave the house while I wait for the "worse pain ever" to occur. What a cycle!
And that is what has me thinking about health and wellbeing. How is it when we're feeling good it seems as though we couldn't possibly ever feel bad, or that sickness will ever rear its ugly head at us? And when it does happen, we feel inconvenienced more than anything because it has interrupted our normal routine. We can't work. Can't see friends. Can't be active. Can't go anywhere. Of course, sometimes we just power through and do whatever we want pain or no pain. I often do this myself. But this pain has stopped me in my tracks because when it's bad, it is the worse pain ever. However, something positive that has come out of this is that I am writing again more than I have in years, and I have a masters in writing. I don't know where I got off my writing practice, but it was probably in being too busy with other things and thinking other things were more important than the one thing that used to be most important to me. So, I suppose that if there's a lesson to be learned through this, and, yes, I'm still learning it, it's that being unwell forces us to take stock of our lives and reconsider where we're going, whether we have an itinerary or not. No matter how healthy we think we are, we never know when life may toss something unpredictable in our way. Of course, how we deal with it matters, but it's also what we learn from it that matters more. I'm learning a lot about myself through this. I'm definitely learning how to better take care of myself and how not to power through when I'm unwell. I'm learning to take the time and follow the right regimens to be well again. And I'm learning that getting well sometimes takes time and I have to allow myself the time it takes, whatever that is, to be well again.
